First Report From the New Gig

OK. I've been burning the candle at both ends getting my new kitchen in line. I've got a crew of about 25 scoundrels that look to me for answers and I just walked into the joint. I love my new crew though. What a pack of fucking psychopaths. I don't care if you eat at Denny's or La Bernardin, it's the same story behind the scenes. Drunken wastrels with no regard for personal safety or well being pumping out the best fucking food they possibly can. I more than have my hands full with this gig. Most of my experience is in small restaurants, supervising 6-10 people. I've got a small army on my hands in this joint, all showing up to work with the remnants of last night's libations rupturing the capillaries in their sunken, world weary eyes. We're producing some fucking outstanding shit though. Here's a little dose of reality for you fuckers. When you're eating in a high end, expensive restaurant close your eyes and picture the chef's office. I bet you think it looks something like this:



Guess what? You're full of shit. Get those fantasies out of your head. Here's what the executive chef at a five star establishment's office really looks like:



Welcome to my closet, bitches.

The Chef Hates You.