I'm Fuckin' Rich

It's a done deal. I negotiated a fucking huge salary from the board of directors at what I'll call "the hotel" so I'm jumping ship. I'm leaving the Bistro for good and am taking over as executive chef at an upscale restaurant in an upscale hotel. I will always be amazed at my good fortune in life, especially when I take my shitty attitude into account. All those douche bags that tell you you need a positive attitude to succeed in life are lying to you. I'm living proof. I think 99% of all people are jerk offs and I'm fucking rich now. You know what you need to be successful? First of all you need to be really fucking good at what you do. Work hard to be the best. It doesn't matter what you do, cooking, waiting tables, or shoveling shit, if you are the best at it you will go places. Second, don't take shit from anybody. Crush your enemies like the fucking worms that they are. I can't stand all those "positive attitude" and "self esteem" and "love your fellow man" stupid fucking hippies. All that shit is utter nonsense. While you're sitting around working on your positive fucking attitude I'm doubling my income in the middle of a fucking recession. How do you like that fuckers? I didn't exude happiness or kiss ass at any of the interviews I had to do to get this job. I politely explained that I am the greatest fucking chef in this stupid fucking city (even though I'm not) and they would be utter fools to pass on me. That's all there is to it. If you want to succeed all you need to do is kick ass, attitude has nothing to do with it. Leave the helpful hippies to what they do best, NOTHING.

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