Everyone Sucks

Fuck 'em all! Jesus titty fucking Christ! I haven't posted in a while because things were going sort of OK. I actually haven't been raging pissed for a couple weeks. Until tonight. Holy jumping sheep shit tonight sucked gangrenous donkey balls. Oh where to begin? First of all, we have this regular that comes in every day. He's kinda crazy and he orders the most disgusting special requests you can imagine. I always let it slide because he was drafted and sent to 'Nam when he was a teenager. I figure that's as good excuse as any to be crazy. Tonight he topped himself though. He ordered a caprese topped with hot meatballs with honey drizzled on top with a side of Caesar dressing. Fucking sick! Then I get word that he wants to see me. When I got to the bar he informed me that it tasted bad. No fucking shit! I would rather catch syphilis from licking the ass of a Venezuelan albino transsexual midget amputee that hasn't bathed since the Nixon administration than eat that sick shit! You asked for it like that you asshole, don't cry to me because it tastes bad! It was downhill from there. I had a perfectly cooked pasta dish get sent back. Nothing pisses off a cook like having perfectly cooked food returned. When I asked what was wrong I was informed the the crab in the dish was "tight and spicy"! What the fuck does that mean? Tight and Spicy? Of course the server couldn't explain it. "That's what she said." So fucking what? I need to know what that means! People who go out to eat on Sundays are douchebags through and though. It's usually a bunch of uptight christian assholes, fresh from church, who look down on us heathens for daring to work on the sabbath. Assholes. When the rush was well over with and I had a drink in me to help me face the daunting task of cleaning up my disaster of a kitchen, the unspeakable happened. There is a small university near the restaurant. I think you are required to be a spoiled rich, wannabe hippy fuckwad to meet the criteria for enrollment in that fucking place. We get a lot of those jerkoffs who come in to spend mommy and daddy's money. Well, two of the fuckers decided to come in TEN MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING!!!! Fucking Bullshit! And you'll never guess what. The fuckers ordered steak. I had shut the grill off about 20 minutes before they showed up and the thing was stone cold. I pulled the grill off and set it on the burners to warm it up, which was hard to do while shaking with anger, then I marked the steaks and fucking nuked 'em! Yup, you heard me. 20 year veteran in the business and I served microwaved steaks! If you think that's unprofessional consider this: People who enter a restaurant to eat, let alone eat steak, 10 minutes before closing are my sworn enemies and are lucky I'm as professional as I am. If I wasn't, I would have jerked the fuck off all over those microwaved steaks and it wouldn't be anything less than those fuckers deserved! What really sucks is I had to wait for those assholes to leave before I could lock up and go home. I posted up at the bar and did some damage to the boss's pour cost waiting for those twats to finish up and get the fuck out. On their way out they actually told me the steaks were great. Fucking tools. You douchbag rich kids wouldn't know a good steak if it leaped off the plate and sucked your junk. I do take some small consolation knowing those fuckers ate rubbery, atomic beef and actually liked it. Fuckheads.
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