If you work in a restaurant, or frequent one that has an open kitchen and you happen to see a cook pounding out pieces of meat with a mallet, do the world a favor. Do not make a "beating your meat" joke. That shit wasn't funny the first time I heard it 20 fucking years ago and it ain't funny now. "Hey! Looks like you're beating your meat!" Hardy Fucking Har! I'll beat your fucking kneecaps with this thing, asshole! When someone gets stuck with the tedious duty of pounding out 20 or 30 pounds of meat they will be in no mood to hear your lame-ass attempts at humor so don't do it. Not that cooks have a problem with masturbation humor or anything, it's just the simple fact that that joke sucks and we've all heard it at least 8,000 times. Stick to what you do best, shutting the fuck up.
The chef hates you.
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I am the chef of a bistro located somewhere in the greater Seattle metro area. I and my restaurant will remain nameless to prevent any lost business. Please remember, every time you go out to eat, the chef hates you.
Use Of the Word 'CUNT'
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If you must e-mail me
thechefhatesyou@gmail.com
Please be aware that by e-mailing me you are consenting to having your comments and e-mail address made public. Conditions include, but are not limited to, me changing the text of your e-mail to better suit my arguments or make you look stupid. Chefs, cooks, prep-cooks, and dishwashers are exempt from this. You folks will be treated with utmost respect and privacy.
Please be aware that by e-mailing me you are consenting to having your comments and e-mail address made public. Conditions include, but are not limited to, me changing the text of your e-mail to better suit my arguments or make you look stupid. Chefs, cooks, prep-cooks, and dishwashers are exempt from this. You folks will be treated with utmost respect and privacy.
About Me
- TheChef
- If you think I'm just some deranged asshole, you are wrong. Well, sort of. ALL chefs and cooks are just like me. No matter where you eat or what you spend, the things you read here are going through the minds of the people cooking your food. WITHOUT EXCEPTION!