The Important Links Section and Why You Should Click on Them

Scroll down the page past that cool-ass picture of cupid lying dead from a shot from my bow that symbolizes the death of all your bullshit yuppie fantasies about chefs and all other service industry types that you're convinced exist to serve you and love it and don't harbor any hatreds towards your vapid fucking asses. There you will find the 'important links' section. Hang on a second, let me recover from that bad ass run on sentence I just composed. Whew, ok I'm back. Anyway, you need to click on, and learn from, all of those links.

1) The Brownie Troop Fishing Show.
I put this one at the top because I was raised in the pacific northwest and fishing is like a fucking religion to me. This site, I think, is a great approximation of what fishing is all about. Rollicking good times as well as stately reverence. The guy in charge is the guitarist of the band Ween. If you've never heard 'em, quit fucking around and buy their shit. Deaner plays a mean strat and can land monstrous aquatic beats by the truckload. I also hear he's no slouch in the kitchen. Those activities will only raise a man in my estimation. Check it out.

2) The movie Waiting.
A brilliant film. The man who made it obviously spent time in the business. Granted, it centers around the front of the house, but the cooks are well represented. Honestly, life in the kitchen would make a boring movie because a cook's daily routine is horribly repetitive so I'm willing to let a movie about servers be the definitive restaurant movie for now. The reality of restaurant life is exaggerated for comic effect, but it does a good job of reflecting 'The Life'. Buy it, rent it, steal it, fuck it, whatever. Just see the fucking thing.


3) The Bible.
You heard me. Kitchen Confidential. The king hell fuck epic of professional cooking. All bow to THE Bourdain. This fucking guy was a REAL chef. Then he struck it big and now he gets paid to travel the world, eat great food, and bang hot tang. Read it now. I'll wait. Learn the truth fuckers! Seriously, Bourdain rules and this is a must read.


4)The Alphabet Of Manliness.
A brilliant book. The A-Z of all thing male. Featuring important topics like boners, violence, urinal etiquette, and beef jerky. A must read for Y-chromosome enthusiasts everywhere. It was written by a man named Maddox. He also has a website that is a fucking riot. Check it.


5)Mozilla Firefox
If you are looking at this page with internet explorer I probably have your social security number by now with all the spyware I intentionally distribute via my site. Seriously, ditch that shit. Firefox is secure, very easy to use, and free! There is a cool tab system at the top that keeps all the pages you have open well organized without clogging up your taskbar. You can have all your favorite sites (mine included) laid out in a row at the top of the page for one click browsing. Internet explorer sucks, don't use it.


I'll update this as I add more. I know the reason you come to this site is to become enlightened so why don't you expedite the process and click the links already?

The chef won't hate you as much if you do.