Cooks and Servers. A Fragile Peace. PT.2

I just realized I started my last post talking about the fact that I respect my waitstaff, then went on a hateful rant about them. Oh well. This blog isn't about things I like now is it? Here is the numero uno, single most heinous act of bullshitery a server can pull. This thing makes me want to super glue them to a chair, pump them full of antibiotics, and pick their faces off with a pair of rusty tweezers. I figure it'll take 'em a month or two to die. A fitting end to a fucking bastard who would dare to LET THEIR PERSONAL TASTES INTERFERE WITH MY MENU!!!!! Fuck you! I've had to deal with this way more times than karma should dictate. And I've done some fucked up shit in my time, let me tell you. It's a simple thing. The server doesn't like, say calamari. So when one of their customers asks about the calamari the server actually tells them it isn't any good. YOU DIE NOW! I don't give a shit what you like. How fucking dare you tell a customer that ANYTHING on the menu isn't good! Just because you don't like something doesn't mean someone else won't. I don't care if a certain item tastes like filleted pig shit to you, don't you EVER suggest that something on the menu isn't good. I am human, believe it or not. I am prone to mistakes as much as anyone else. If there are consistent complaints about a certain menu item, I need to know. I'll fix it if that's the case. But really, if you knew shit about food you'd be writing the menus and not hustling them, so don't overstep your bounds.
Now, beside all that shit, I do really like servers and respect what they do. Some of my old friends for life have done time in the front of the house. It's a tough job and I know it. When they are subjected to abuse that they don't deserve at the hands of those rotten fucking customers, I'm fucking pissed and I'm on their side. All you yuppie bastards that feel the need to pay to pick on someone, fuck with the bussers not the servers. Bussers are straight up bitches through and through to the fucking core. I don't respect bussers and neither should you. I know they are valuable to servers but I can't stand the little fuckers. Some brainless 16 year old looking for a summer job should grow a pair and apply for the dish pit. I treat my dishwashers like royalty. Dishwashers are the shit. Good ones that is. They are the lifeblood of the professional kitchen, they sweat their nuts and/or ovaries off making sure the whole damn resaurant is squared away and I make damn sure they are well fed and kept happy. Bussers on the other hand where born to be shit on. Fill water glasses? Oh my! Drop off bread baskets? Whoopie! Clear off tables? Oh the humanity! Fuck those little turds. I hate it when a busser has been around a while and joins his server bretheren in their nonstop whining for free food. Can you say 'blow me'? Just like anywhere else in life, people who kiss ass make more money than people who work hard. Severs make more money than cooks, that's why you're charged for your meals. If you little busser bitches don't like that, grow some balls, put on some whites and some checks, and do some real work and I'll see about feeding your little ass. Until then, you can tongue my dung shutter! Bussers are expendable as fuck. Fuck 'em. Next time you asshole yuppies are out to eat, take your pent up frustrations out on the bussers, not the professionals that can hook you up. Think about it.
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