Well done? You sick fuck!

Improperly and overcooked proteins are disgusting. I can't believe people actually like that shit. Let's take steak for instance. A nice NY strip steak. It's a beautiful, tender cut with a nice fat strip along the back that melts in and gives it an amazing flavor. However, if it's cooked to anything beyond medium, it's ruined. Restaurants give you the option of choosing the temperature you'd like your steak because there are subtle differences in flavor and texture depending on how long it's cooked. In the rare to medium spectrum that is. Anything beyond that is garbage. You might as well eat your fucking shoes, there's really no difference. It fucking roils my blood when some jackass orders a well done steak. I do all the butchery in my restaurant myself. To see a gorgeous cut of meat I lovingly fabricated reduced to shriveled, shit colored hockey puck really pisses me off. Why don't you sick assholes quit bullshitting yourselves and go get a burger somewhere, 'cause that's what you really want. At least you can chew a well done burger. Then there's the fact that it takes about 800 years to get a steak to well done. Just what I need during the dinner rush. If any of you people are out to eat with family or friends and someone at the table orders a well done steak, slap the fuck. Because of him you all have to wait an eternity for your food. The fact that people are willing to pay top dollar and wait forever, just to eat a fucked up hunk of leather is astounding. Oh, and the next person to order a tenderloin filet well done is getting stabbed in the fucking dick. Overcooked filet mignon is an unforgivable crime against nature.
The same goes for fish. Overcooked fish is dry and nasty and gets stuck in your teeth. And any flavor it once had is off the plate and stuck to the filters in the vent hoods that my poor dishwasher has to clean. Thanks assholes. Medium rare to medium well is acceptable for most fish. Fresh tuna however will be served rare. If you don't like rare tuna you are irrevocably fucked in the head.
These creatures gave their lives so we can eat. The least you can do is show them the respect they deserve by allowing me to cook them properly. If you assholes insist on eating dry, flavorless, overcooked meat then do me a favor and go to McDonald's or get some fish sticks somewhere and stay the fuck out of my restaurant.

The chef hates your fucking guts.